“What is your secret to being loved by everyone you meet?”

I debated answering this because it seems so incredibly egotistical. I swear, I didn’t ask myself this question!

Whoever submitted this is incredibly kind, so thank you. Or they’re being incredibly sarcastic and a complete jerk!

I’m not even sure how to answer this. I mean, I disagree with the premise of the question. There’s just no way it’s true that everyone I meet loves me. That is an intense emotion for a large number of people over a very short amount of time.

And surely there are people who are just annoyed by me, maybe even outright hate me. At the very least, there has to be a significant percentage of people I meet who are just plain indifferent to me.

Ultimately, it’s a completely unprovable statement. Is this person following me around and interviewing every person I meet on how they feel about me? Even if they were, how can we be sure that the people being interviewed are telling the truth? Maybe they’re just being polite. Can I see your polling data? Maybe it’s flawed.

Today is the 15th, so that means I’m basically halfway through my daily blogging challenge.

The hardest part is making sure I make time for it. There are definitely times when I’m about to do something else and then realize I haven’t written the next day’s blog post. The discipline of reserving that time for it is crucial. And then making sure that reserved time has some flexibility to it because I don’t know how long it might take me to write. Sometimes it’s pretty quick, and sometimes not, like when it takes some time to realize what I want to write about, or if it’s a longer post.

I’m starting to think about whether I’ll continue after August. I’m pretty sure I won’t be doing it every day, but maybe every other day. Or maybe weekly. Not sure yet, but probably something. Unless over the next 15 days, it’s becomes torture.

Anyway, I’m really liking the Ask Me Anything questions. I’ve had enough questions coming in to answer those every other day, but I’m almost out. So I sure would love you to submit a question. As you’ve seen, it can be personal, it can be silly, it can be whatever you want. As long as there’s a question mark in there, I’ll figure out a way to answer it.

Over the last week or so, I’ve written about my decision to back off of pursuing acting for the most part. But I’m not saying it’s over forever. After all, never say never.

Case in point: In 1974, singer-songwriter James Taylor was seriously considering retiring early. After the back-to-back success of his albums Sweet Baby James and Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon and the Grammy-winning hit single “You’ve Got a Friend” in 1971, he probably could’ve called it quits and done just fine. But after his fourth album One Man Dog under-performed, he allegedly wondered if maybe it was time to move on to doing something else. The song “Fading Away” came out of this period.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0G5VasZOxU

Last year, at the age of 67, James Taylor released his 17th studio album, Before This World, which debuted at #1 on the Billboard charts, his first album to debut at the top of the charts. So yeah, never say never.

Maybe acting is something I’ll want to pursue again. Maybe I’ll be able and willing to devote the energy and resources. Or maybe it’ll be something else. Or maybe not. For now though…

“No one will really notice if we just sit this next one out.”

“Do you suspect me of being a super villain? So not one.”

Since your question was submitted anonymously, I have no idea who you are.

That aside, you are without a doubt a super villain.

I mean, come on. It’s so obvious.

Just ask yourself these three simple questions:

1. Have you ever committing crimes to further your own goals?
2. Do you feel compelled to share your plans with the person most likely to succeed in stopping those plans?
3. Do you find yourself cackling maniacally when no one else is around?

If you answered any of those questions with answers, then you are definitely without a doubt a super villain. Nice try.

“Have you considered doing something on broadway like live theater or do you consider Improv as being essentially the same thing, but maybe on a smaller scale?”

This question was sent in response to my post where I talked about backing off of acting (I guess that’s how I would summarize it?).

Improv is a form of live theater, but a play or musical (scripted theater) have their own unique aspects. Any time I can perform to a live audience, I’m going to prefer it. Hearing the audience, and letting their reaction inform how I perform, whether scripted or not, is a big draw for me. I find the audience-performer conversation fascinating.

Have I considered being on Broadway? I don’t know about “considered,” as it’s not like there’s a job offer on the table. “Imagined,” absolutely. Just as I’ve imagined being in Hollywood movies or on a network TV series or any number of other “break through” scenarios.

The reality is that it’s just not very likely, especially living in Los Angeles. It’s fair to say I’m not going to catch a flight to New York City, stroll down Broadway, and get offered a job.

That’s not to say getting to Broadway is impossible. My friend Kris Coleman and I used to work at the same company here in Los Angeles. He worked his butt off for a number of years, strategically pursuing commercial auditions and other work. His manager did a lot of good work for him. He risked his job ducking out for auditions. He got a few roles in some commercials. He was doing musical theater and other gigs. As more auditions came, he got more worried about losing his job. He was really in a precarious spot. And just as it seemed like he couldn’t get away with it much longer, he was auditioning for Jersey Boys on Broadway. Call backs and interviews followed. It was tense. And just like that, he got the call. He gave his notice and was off to New York City.

Writing it out, I actually don’t believe it myself. But miraculously, he really did it! He deserved it too. He’s talented and devoted all his energy and resources to making it happen. Plus some amazing timing worked in his favor too. He’s a wonderful guy, and I was so unbelievably happy for him. It was such an inspiring moment to see him really beat the odds. Because make no mistake, statistically, it is a miracle that anyone can make it through the crazy system to end up with an actual role in an actual thing that actually gets made.

I was so grateful to get to witness him go through all that, and it really motivated me to redouble my efforts. This was probably 9 or 10 years ago. So yeah. Needless to say, I didn’t follow him. Is it possible for me to do what he did? Absolutely. Have I been able to dedicate my time and energy and resources to doing what he did (or some version of it)? Because that and probably more is what it will take to do what he accomplished to get to Broadway.

In 2002, my wife Nahleen was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. In 2010, she was also diagnosed with lupus. I’m sure someone else could more skillfully navigate that while also chasing acting and working a full-time job. I couldn’t. The business side of acting is crucial and that was always what I’ve dropped first. At this point, I don’t want to run that marathon (more like triathlon). Instead, every time, I’ll choose my wife.

As it turns out, I’m completely thrilled doing improv, which has a steady schedule and takes work, but is not as all-out demanding as going after Broadway or Hollywood. I actually feel like I’ve ended up exactly in the right place. As I said in my last post, it’s like I got rid of all the stuff that annoyed me or I was terrible at in acting, and just get to do the fun part that interests me. It’s joyful work.

Having said all that, yes I have done a number of plays while out here in Los Angeles. There’s an annual Halloween show that I do. So it’s not something I’m against. I love a live audience, so I like doing live theater, whether with a script or not. If I’m asked or if the opportunity presents itself, I do it. But I don’t need to go to Broadway.

***

Thanks for the question, anonymous person! This is exactly the kind of stuff I was hoping to get to talk about while blogging every day this month. I also love that I’ve been getting a mix of serious and silly questions – it’s perfect! Let’s have some more!

Do you have any super powers?

Of course not! That’s ridiculous and completely not even a something that is happening! Why would you even ask? Not only should you and everyone realize that I do not have superpowers, but also the world governments and their militaries and all super-villains should know that I definitely in no possible way have any superpowers whatsoever.

I mean the very notion… It’s just absurd. I don’t even know how such a thing could even happen. Oh boy, the mighty laughter I enjoyed from having even humored the notion of this completely implausible and impossible fairy tale that could never happen and certainly hasn’t happened to me recently or in the last 3 years.

So unrelated but here’s a picture of me at San Diego Comic-Con 3 years ago. Good times…

OK, I’m glad we cleared that up.

***

Next question?

Ok so here’s a question for you, whats with the shaggy hair and beard??

I edited this question down to retain the person’s anonymity.

For some context, here’s my headshot from several years ago:

And here’s a more recent picture:

Oh geez, I really have let myself go. Oh wait, that’s the wrong picture.

Here we go:

My hair isn’t quite this long now, although it’s getting there. My beard is much shorter too. But in general, that basic Jesus look is what I’ve had for the last year or two.

Why the change from clean-cut to hippie? The short answer is: I feel like it. I mean, why does anyone look the way they look when it comes to hair?

But there is a bigger answer that I’ve struggled to give in the past. Let’s see how I do today.

Really, I just feel more comfortable. I feel more like myself. And somehow, I feel like I’m not trying to look a certain way for someone or some market or demographic. I’m just being me.

I moved out to Los Angeles at the end of 1999, and for the majority of that time since, I’ve been trying to be an actor. I know, real original. Someone moved out to LA to be a big famous actor. Never heard that one before. What makes it even less original though is that person didn’t become a big famous actor.

Somewhere along the line, I discovered it wasn’t really what I wanted. Pretty much everything that I love about acting is what improv gives me: connecting with an audience, collaborating with other performers and a director, creatively exploring emotions, just making a room full of people laugh is enough for me.

Being in LA, I’ve known a number of people I consider real actors. These are people who take their craft seriously. They dissect scripts, memorize lines, practice emotional beats and blocking. They audition for anything, whether it’s commercials, industrials, short films, TV series. They’ve done cattle calls. They’ll meet with managers and agents, they’ll take classes and workshops with casting directors, they’ll network. They’ll do early call times, they’ll be an extra, they’ll wait all day for their one or two lines. They’ll get the headshots, fine tune their resume, monitor casting sites, update their acting reel. They go after it.

That stuff just wore me down. I suppose between the day job, my wife’s health, and my other creative interests and side projects, it got the short end of the stick. I never devoted the time or energy it needed because life.

I still act in web-series, films and plays when asked. If Joss Whedon or whoever knocked on my door tomorrow and asked if I wanted to be a series regular in a new show or a supporting character in a feature film for the next 6 months, yeah of course. I probably wouldn’t spit in his face.

But I don’t want to fight for it. Not when I have a way to perform every week that doesn’t involve all that other stuff that doesn’t interest me.

So with that gradual realization also came the realization that I was constantly shaving and getting my hair cut and dressing to try to fit the “type” that I was told that I am for casting directors. That’s what you’re taught here: you look like this kind of person, so fulfill that stereotype and you’ll get cast. I tried to do that but I did a really bad job at this (I was bad at a lot of the business side of acting), and I essentially got to the point where I was sick of it. It wasn’t really a conscious decision. I just kept not going to get my hair cut. And kept not shaving.

In the process I ended up feeling a little more comfortable. A little more like me. I was getting to look like whatever I wanted for me. Not for some hypothetical casting director. And that was actually kind of freeing.

So that’s why the shaggy hair and beard.

At least for now. Maybe in 6 months I’ll get over it and look like a halfway respectable member of society again.

***

Want to ask me something? Well then, ask me anything!