Over two years ago (!), Marvel Comics had a goofy story in Amazing Spider-Man where a devil-like demon called Mephisto basically erased Peter Parker’s marriage to Mary Jane Watson. They had been married for 20 years and just like that it was gone. Comic geeks across the world were outraged.
Not to be left out of the indignation, in an act of fever-induced inspiration I announced the erasing of my own marriage in protest. Both Spider-Man and I have been web-swinging bachelors ever since. (Yes, I can make webs. What of it?)
Well it looks like the gig might soon be up. Marvel Comics released a publicity image for a Spider-Man story to take place some time this year, and it looks like the marriage might live again. If so, I guess I’ll have to get “re-married”. Bummer. And I was having so much fun with my communicable diseases.
See, this is what’s great about superhero comics. If something stupid happens, just wait a year or so and it’ll be undone. Character arcs are for chumps.
(Wait a minute, is that a baby in the background? Oh yeah that’s right. In the ’90s, Peter and Mary Jane had a baby who mysteriously vanished in some weird plane hijacking incident. Both parents got over it real quick because Marvel figured superhero fans might get bummed out reading about mourning parents for a few years.)